Thus, one must delegate the leadership over the self to the intellect, and strengthen his will so that the intellect is able to control the sexual desire and place it on the correct path.
My teacher once told me:
I used to know a young man who occupied himself for a while with purifying his self. One day he told me: I succeeded in restraining myself and in refraining from carnal/animalistic tendencies. However, I failed in restraining my sexual desire, which thus led me to disobey and neglect God.
I told him: Do you know why you failed in this matter?
He replied: No. I came to you seeking assistance.
I told him: Your failure is rooted in your incorrect perception of this desire. You perceive it as an animalistic/carnal desire that one must completely eliminate. You must know, \\[however], that the stronger this desire is within the person, the more he is intact and healthy. It is similar to vision, smell, taste, and all other \\[senses]. The stronger they are \\[in the person], the more healthy and upright his body is.
Moreover, our religion did not command us to battle sexual desires and eliminate them. Similar to the fact that we must control our vision and not look at that which is forbidden and prevent our ears from listening to that which is forbidden, we must also control our sexual desires so that they do not make us fall into that which is forbidden.
Hence, if someone's vision falls upon that which is forbidden, such as looking at women who are not lawful to him, must he obliterate his vision? Likewise, if sexual desires cause one to fall into that which is forbidden, he must not eliminate it. Rather, he must restrain its recalcitrance and control it.
Just as an individual thanks the Exalted God for granting him the blessing of vivid vision, he must also thank God Almighty for granting him \\[sexual] desires. What is required of him is that he not allow it to drag him into that which is forbidden.
You are mistaken if you want to eliminate your sexual desires. Do not say, "I want to eliminate it." Rather, say, "I want to discipline it so that my self be under the leadership of my intellect; that my desire be free- so long that it is driven within the boundaries of that which is lawful, and I will not remonstrate it unless it transgresses the lawful boundaries."
The young man then said: Now I realize the mistake of eliminating \\[sexual] desires. The Messenger of God \\[p] said, "Marriage is my practice, so whoever rejects my practice is not from me." \\[Biḥār al-Anwār, p. 220, no. 23].
I told him: Many are the narrations and ḥadīth's that emphasize and make marriage desirable. If you were to collect them, they would amount to a \\[whole] independent book. How greatis the \\[number of] narrations that averse celibacy and abstention from mutual marital life to a degree that he who denies it is considered to be denying a necessary practice of religion.
The path of success for disciplining the self is to make it subordinate to reason and intellect. It is sufficient to restrain it from \\[committing] that which is forbidden, so that one does not fall into it, and for this reason the Exalted God says when describing the characteristics of the believers:
"those who guard their private parts * except from their spouses or their slave women, for then they are not blameworthy" \\[23:5-6]
I \\[once] had a student whom was a devoted worshiper but was unable to restrain his sexual desires. Though he was married, he would fall into committing forbidden acts. Thus, little by little, he began to consider this \\[act of] disobedience an easy matter which he became careless in \\[performing]. Later on, he began contemplating over what has been related in the \\[transmitted] texts regarding this \\[sin]. \\[This was] a wake up call \\[for him], and thus, by the grace of God, he began to abhor committing forbidden acts.
Imam al-Baqir \\[p] says, 'God is not worshipped with anything better than restraint of the stomach and private parts.'
He \\[p] also said, 'The best worship is restraint of the stomach and private parts.'
Our Master Muhammad \\[p], 'I fear three \\[things] over my nation after my depart: (1) Ignorance after acknowledgement; (2) Misguiding trials; (3) the desire of the stomach and private parts.'
Imam al-Sadiq (AS) said, 'Restrain yourselves from other people' s women and your own women will remain chaste.' \\[al-Khisal, p. 55, no. 75]
Anas related that the prophet \\[p] \\[once] said while he was with his companions, 'Whosoever guarantees me two, I will guarantee him heaven.' \\[To which] Abu Hurayra replied, 'May my mother and father's lives be your ransome, I will guarantee you them, what are they?'
The prophet replied, 'Whosoever guarantees me (i.e. safeguards) what is between his cheeks (his tongue) and between his legs, I will guarantee him heaven.'—http://www.shafaqna.com/english/marjeiats/item/6335-restraining-sexual-desires.html
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We are group of Shia students whose aim is to make reach the fact about real islam and answer the doubts raised against shiaism in mondern days.
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